Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartenderās bed
we should paint friendship bongs
āOn a breakā is implied when itās a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
