She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
