you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
