just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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