Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
