Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
