Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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