Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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