you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
