thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
should my penis look like a turkey
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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