You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
