I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
