I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
