I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
