I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
