If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You've changed since you got that strap on
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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