Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
