i used baking grease as lip gloss
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
