No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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