i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
