Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
