how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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