well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
