i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
