Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
