Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
