Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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