Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
