Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
