Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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