I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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