I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
