hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
