I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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