wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
