took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
