Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
