where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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