with your own penis?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
