i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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