His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize