Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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