you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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