when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Are these your boobs on my camera?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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