you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
