If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
