My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
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