How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
