I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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