ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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