he puts the penis in happiness.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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