i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
