Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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