Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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