she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
