Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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