So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize