alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
