no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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