I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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